Self Love: Specking the 5 Love Languages to Yourself

Have you read the 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Champman? I’m sure you have, I’m probably the only person that hasn’t, but I am definitely familiar with its concepts. The 5 Love Languages is all about being understood by the person you love and care for the most. All we ever truly want in life is to be understood and heard. People want genuine and personal expressions of affection, not generic hearts and chocolates from Duane Reade. What I find interesting is that we expect these actions from others, but how often do we speak these love languages to ourselves?

Turns out I’m not the only one thinking about my Self-love Language. In fact, Pinterest is filled with quizzes and lists of ways to find out what your self-love language is and how to speak it. Samantha Warren has a pretty good post about this. Her quiz was pretty straight forward and she even listed ways to express each language. Felt like reading a spark notes version of Dr. Gary Chapman’s book. After taking the quiz, I wasn’t too surprised with my results. For one, I knew one love language wouldn’t be enough for me. Just ask my husband, lol. Turns out I’m all about words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch. Ironically enough I have actually been lacking in all of these departments.

Words of Affirmation is asserting one’s feelings in a verbal or written form. I do not know how to take a compliment and I am guilty of being my own worst enemy at times. I clearly need to incorporate this language into my everyday life. The good news is that my vision board and keeping a gratitude journal is a step in the right direction. Now acts of service are not what I imagined them to be. I for one hate it when people do things for me, or at least I thought I did. I pride myself on being independent and strong, so I didn’t expect to like it when someone does something for me to show their love. This did bring to my attention just how rarely I do something to serve myself. It is time I priorities myself, and that is just what acts of service represents. Last but not least is physical touch. Feeling love through intimate and innocent touch. I do not remember the last time I felt comfortable in my own skin, but it is clearly something I yearn for. I need to pamper myself more and do things that make me feel beautiful and good about this vessel I am in.

I have a lot of work to do when it comes to speaking my self-love language but at least now I have a cheat sheet to refer back to. The month of February usually highlights love and romance, but how often do we take the time to romance ourselves. You don’t need anyone to tell you how amazing you are. Yes, it’s nice to hear but maybe sometimes it’s something you need to hear from yourself first. So, what’s your self-love language? How do you treat yo self?